Have I mentioned that I really dislike June bugs?
REALLY dislike them.
I was reminded of this the other night, when I found myself under siege by a June bug that somehow broke into the house.
I was lying in bed, reading. Minding my own business. Jack was out of town.
Then I heard something. Was it… a faint buzzing…?
Suddenly, I see a June bug whip around the corner and start barreling straight for my head.
I knew for certain that it would smash into my hair and get all tangled up. June bugs do this – they just zoom around and bonk into everything. It's terrifying.
Anyway, I shot out of that room faster than you can believe. Just imagine how fast I was, then multiply it by 100.
So there I was in the hallway. And it occurred to me that I would need to "eliminate" this problem, if you know what I mean. June bugs are drawn to light, and the rest of the house was dark, except my bedroom. If I wanted to read, the June bug would need to "disappear."
I ran downstairs to fetch the fly swatter. Then, bravely, I re-entered my bedroom.
For good measure I performed a little demonstration of my swatting abilities. You know, in case the June bug was watching.
Well, whatever. So I was standing there post-demonstration and what do I see? The June bug – once again hurling itself at me.
I sort of forgot my swatting routine at that point.
Later on, when I was hiding in the closet, taking stock of the situation, I realized that I would need to outsmart the bug. Since they are truly dumb, it shouldn’t be that hard.
So I crept back out and turned off all the lights in my bedroom except for one lamp.
Sure enough, the June bug fell right into my trap, landing right on the lampshade.