Big Problem With Rice

So here's a problem: I can't swallow rice. Instead of going down my throat, it goes up my nose.

That's correct: Up my nose.

Check it out:

Woah, I look like a Native American man in that drawing. With a really hairy cheek. But you get the idea.

I'm sure some rice goes down. But a significant portion goes UP instead. And that means I have to spend hours walking around conducting obnoxious nasal-snorting exercises -- to try and suck the rice back down into my esophagus.

Not good.

The kicker is that this "rice up the nose" issue has been going on forever. And yet, I ALWAYS forget about it. I enthusiastically order rice as restaurants and cook it at home. Never once have I paused to think, "what about your problem?"

Then I eat a bite and one second later, it's headed up my nose.

I figure at this point my options are either (a) head transplant or (b) eat less rice.

Both options have pros and cons, so I'm still debating the issue. In the meantime, if you are an M.D. or aspire to be one or even just pretend to be one, maybe you can shed some light on this issue...? Let me know.